How to Write a Eulogy
Writing a eulogy can feel like an overwhelming task when you’re grieving. This guide will help you craft a heartfelt tribute that offers comfort to those listening and celebrates the unique qualities of your loved one.
1. Understand the Purpose of a Eulogy
A eulogy is not just a speech; it’s a way to honour a life lived. It’s an opportunity to share personal memories, stories, and reflections about the person who has died Think of it as a tribute that highlights their character, accomplishments, and the impact they had on those around them. It should provide comfort to those in mourning, evoke memories, and celebrate the essence of the individual.
2. Gather Your Thoughts and Memories
Begin by reflecting on your relationship with the person and the moments you shared together. Jot down memories, characteristics, or stories that stand out to you. You might want to include:
Personal anecdotes: Moments that illustrate their personality, humour, kindness, or quirks.
Achievements and passions: Their career, hobbies, interests, or things they were proud of.
Shared experiences: Touch on how they affected the lives of those around them, including family, friends, and community. Talking to family members or friends can also help gather different perspectives and ensure you capture the full picture of who they were.
3. Create a Structure
Creating a structure will help your eulogy flow naturally and stay focused. Here’s a simple format to guide you:
Introduction: Start by introducing yourself and your connection to the person who has died. Mention why you feel honoured to be speaking about them.
Personal Memories: Share specific memories or stories that highlight their personality and values. Focus on what made them unique and beloved.
Acknowledgement of Loss: It’s okay to express the sadness of the moment while also offering comfort. Recognise the grief everyone is feeling while honouring the legacy the person leaves behind.
Conclusion: Close with a final thought or a message of hope. You might include a favourite quote, a poem, or a saying that reflects the essence of their life.
4. Keep It Personal and Honest
Speak from the heart, using language that feels natural to you. There’s no need to be overly formal or to use grand gestures. Instead, aim for honesty and authenticity. It’s okay to share both the joys and the imperfections that made your loved one human. A eulogy doesn’t need to be flawless; it just needs to be real.
5. Practice and Prepare
Practice reading your eulogy out loud several times before the service. This will help you get comfortable with the words and the emotions that come with them. If you find it difficult to speak, remember it’s okay to pause, take a breath, or ask someone to stand with you for support. You’re sharing a moment that everyone present understands and empathises with.
6. Focus on What Feels Right
Writing a eulogy can be emotional and challenging, so focus on what feels right for you and the person you’re honouring. There’s no correct length or perfect way to do it. If you prefer to keep it short and simple, that’s entirely okay. If you want to include some humour, anecdotes, or even a song lyric that would make your loved one smile, that’s a wonderful tribute too.
7. Bring Warmth
In Ireland, our traditions around death and mourning often include a blend of laughter and tears, celebrating the life that was lived while acknowledging the sadness of loss. Don’t be afraid to bring a bit of warmth into your eulogy, whether through a familiar phrase, a touch of humour, or a nod to the culture that shaped them. It can be a way to connect with everyone in the room and to honour your loved one in a way that feels true to your shared heritage.
Final Thoughts
Writing a eulogy can be one of the most challenging yet meaningful things you'll ever do. It’s a chance to honour the life of the person who has died and to share memories that celebrate their impact on you and the world. There’s no right or wrong way to write a eulogy—what matters is that your words come from the heart. As you speak, remember that everyone in the room is there to support you and share in the grief. Allow yourself to be honest and imperfect, and know that in doing so, you’re paying tribute in the most genuine way possible.
